TRUE LOVE

Why do we hold on to others when they want to go, to do, and be?
What does truly loving someone really mean?

I asked myself this over and over again during an ending of a relationship. In many of my former relationships, I was the one who chose to leave. This time, the lesson changed. I never experienced the penetrating feeling of someone leaving me. This happened without preparation which brings it to another level of learning.

In my life, it seems, my lessons have been deeply rooted. My lessons have touched my soul profoundly, probably because I needed to journey to the depths of my heart to be able to help others who were struggling.

A few years back, I re-connected with a man I had a past romantic relationship with for a short while. Back then, I needed to leave the relationship because he was holding anger from his divorce and it seemed every time we got together it ended up in a conversation about his unfinished business from the past. I tried to have compassion and understanding but there comes a point in time when one sees that others must do some more work alone and so I moved on. We each were dating others so our relationship was really in the beginning stages and there were no residual effects.

A few years later, we re-connected again by phone. He told me he moved in with a woman shortly after "us" and that relationship ended after four years, 4 months prior to our latest re-connecting. I had asked him a few times if he was over this person and he assured me he was. I really don't like involving myself in new romantic relationships when there are uncertainties about a last involvement.

Our time together was developing into a comfortable one. Four or five months passed and I began to notice something was up with him. He disappeared for an evening and it wasn't like him not to be in communication with me even if it was via phone. He became a little distant after that and I found myself asking him a few times... "What was up?" He wouldn't share his true feelings and so I found myself asking more inward questions. "Do I want someone in my
life that cannot share his TRUTH? How do we grow in relationship if there's this gap between us?" I finally asked him these questions; he wasn't willing to go there.

A few weeks passed. I sensed his old girlfriend was in the picture again. One evening, I had a profound dream. I shared my dream with him and he looked puzzled and wanted no part of the confusion. I then asked him a question that totally threw him off guard... (Name changed) "Steve, are you looking at my heart when a situation comes up that involves me?" This wasn't too threatening and by his reaction I sensed he felt he wasn't being fair with me. I don't think anyone had ever asked him this question before nor I felt he hadn't looked too many times in this direction, perhaps caught up with so much emotion with his own stuff.

I had to rely on my dream and intuition to put together the pieces. Time has a mysterious way of revealing the TRUTH... I kept asking myself "Do I want this sort of relationship in my life?" I kept coming up with a NO in my mind.

The last time Steve and I were together I had arranged for him to see a well-known Russian healer for his back. He had two botched surgeries and was in so much pain, I felt I could help him find someone to relieve some or all of the pain he was enduring. The day of the appointment, I sensed Steve didn't want me to go with him, as he didn't want to face me. On our way to the healer, nothing much was said. I was able to really take a look at Steve, a
young adult, in a 50-year-old man's body. I asked to hold his hand thinking this would get him to his heart and feelings.

He wanted no part of my hand.

I let him be and we arrived at the Russian healer's home. The healer was able to pinpoint Steve's problem. As the man ran his hand up and down Steve's spine, something profound happened. Steve looked at me with this sort of wonder as his never-ending pain vanished. He then looked at me with this unconditional love in his eyes. It was if everything else, all the stuff in
his life, didn't matter. All that mattered was this moment in time. Our hearts/souls connected briefly and the session ended. A half hour later, Steve was back in his reality. In that moment, I knew I had to let him go, again.

For the next few weeks I was pushed and pulled in emotions. I didn't want to look at his heart, his lessons, his this, and his that. It was a time to think about me. I realized I had to grieve this loss. Steve couldn't or wouldn't, share anything this deep and so I needed get to a place of acceptance, a place of peace, of forgiveness, and ultimately, unconditional love.

I knew all of this in my mind. But my heart needed to catch up. I saw glimpses of Steve's heart from time to time, and what I viewed through all the protection was love. This was my lesson too. What was Steve mirroring to me? I asked for help from my angels, God and my small group of friends.

One inspiring morning, this poem flowed through me. I remembered a poem about letting go. I felt the world needed something more. I wrote this as if I was Steve.

Because you love me
let me go free..
to do
to grow
and to be...

Because you love me
let me go in peace...
to learn
to explore
and so much more...

Because you love me
stop holding on
for only you...
look to my heart
in this too...

Because you me
you would understand
life sometimes creates
another plan...

And if you truly love me
you would clearly see
this fate was just
not meant
for only me...

Inside of card...

Thank you for sharing a part of your life with me...

Back of Card..

True Love is a life process...

Has "letting go" of you been a challenge for the special person who has been an important part of your life? Can they feel that a part of truly loving someone is understanding that life creates changes, and that embracing those changes helps us to open to new experiences we are all meant to encounter?

"Truly loving" is about letting go and empowering the other person to do, to grow and to be. Letting go brings us to a new level of understanding, acceptance, and a place called peace. Letting go helps us to lessen our judgments of people's life decisions.

Do they also realize that "truly loving" someone is also about loving themselves and believing there is a greater plan for them as well?

Share " A Sacred Memory" folio and perhaps include your thoughts, feelings and memories with the special someone who has been an integral part of this life process. And please remember that "truly loving" them is about looking into their heart during this ending too...

----- Steve and I connected later that year. He wanted to resume our relationship. My angels had other plans for me. Steve, wherever you are in the world, I wish you unconditional love..